When is thinking too much?
If there’s anything most people know about me it’s that I am always curious. Not an annoying and nosy kind of curiosity, but I’d like to think that I have an insatiable mind. I’m turned on by intellectual stimulation. Assuming there’s no tension or uncomfortable audience, within a good hour I can easily range in topics from food varieties, to definitions of success v. failure, to camel rides, to faith, relationships, to favorite pastimes then back to food. I like to read various news articles and blogs and enjoy “stumbling upon” well written and thought provoking pieces. I wholeheartedly digest information just as I filter what I give out.
Nothing gets me more restless than one liner responses, awkward stares and fidgety silences. I like to know what’s on your mind – how your thought processes work, what makes you giddy or upset, what keeps you entertained, your farsighted goals and short sighted fascinations etc. I value your thoughts. Even more so, I value how our thoughts connect us.
When I ask you “how are you” I sincerely care and want to know how you’re doing. I want more than a shallow weather conversation. I don’t need to know your dirty secrets, but I do want to know how I can help make your day brighter. Believe me when I say I’d vulnerably and openly ask you to do the same for me. I don’t intend it as gossip, trying too hard to be friendly or even prying too far. I just intend to relate to you. I’m looking for our connection and I’m eager to develop it. Not a stalker connection, but an honest to goodness human relationship.
When it comes to how I’m feeling or what I’m thinking, I can honestly say that I can be as organized and scatter brained as possible. Sometimes I get indecisive for tackling every angle of every issue and eventually crippling my outcome. Other times I can be as practical, logical and straight forward as needed. I enjoy research and get fascinated by random insights. I don’t like it when I adversely affect others and usually put their needs first. I’d like our connection to be as genuine, trustworthy and reciprocated as possible. We don’t have to see eye to eye all the time, but of course it would be nice to be supported once in a while.
Therein lies the main question. What I do wonder though….is when thinking gets too much. Where do I draw that fine line between too much information and necessary details? When is it OK to accept things as they are and let the facts supersede the momentary satisfaction and even the consequence? At what point does caring for others become unhealthy towards ourselves? How do I apply that full stop and push everything aside? More often than not, it feels easier said than done.
Sigh, I know this is part of what makes life happen but I hope I’m not the only one asking these questions.