fools rush in
Getting to know someone on an intimate basis is always a fine balance between the thrill of what could be romance or deflecting the heartache of what could be deception. We’re both fools rushing in, eager to know everything about each other but also hesitant to reveal too much or too little. It’s like walking on egg shells. Even unintentionally, everything means something. We’re both yearning for comfort for ourselves and with each other. We fascinate ourselves with every text, date, kiss….whatever sort of attraction there is to lure each other like magnets. We’re making the most of our own lives but also learning to be together.
Then of course along with all the fascination comes the equally frustrating mind games. Does he really mean what he says? Why doesn’t he respond right away? Does he feel the same way I do? Has he gotten over his past? Have i? Am I ready to be vulnerable? Am I ready to open my whole heart to him? There are too many lines to read in between!
But that’s just it. This is one of life’s infinite possibilities that we can’t really prepare for. Even though we’ve all been burned before (there’s a reason exes are exes) we still need the determination to face it all again –the giddy happiness, the unavoidable mind games, the endearing touch, all that topped with the relentless hope that this one is better than the rest. As much as we’d like the reassurance that this one will take care of us better, fill the void the last one didn’t, or even just to last longer than the rest; the only way to find out is simply to dive right back in and seize it all over again. Perhaps with a little more caution and timid grace but also with the same gaiety and thirst as before.
Whether it turns out to be love, lust, friendship or whatever else falls in between, the only way to find out is to let it happen. Besides, the cliche quote must be right “if you’re too busy looking for the perfect person, you will probably miss the imperfect person who could make you perfectly happy.” Let the imperfections reveal a perfect love instead.