Category Archives: Notes to Self

Dear me, love me. Here’s some pep talk to make the most of life.

Hold on to your child like wonder

Oftentimes, in keeping up with the demands of our adult lives, we restrain our free spirits and wear masks of uncomfortable maturity.  Of course we can’t be kids forever.  Of course we can’t always be gullible, naive and ignorant of the way the world actually works.  But….of course, we also shouldn’t let go of of our childlike wonder.

Children have a wonderful fascination for life and the beauty it perceives.  They have such an untainted trust for others and hope for the future that keeps them inspired.  As we’ve gotten older and have more to live up to, we should never forget how great it felt to be amazed by life. Little things are really meant to be amusing.  Ice cream sure can’t fix a bad day, but it definitely makes it better.  Let the simple joys spoil you.

Let yourself be awed by the little things in your grown up life. Keep the faith. Learn to trust again. Don’t allow yourself to be desensitized to the world around you.

Think about how things are predestined or beautifully by chance. Fascinate yourself with what you’re passionate about. Be fascinated that you can be fascinated. Be glad. Be grateful. Be proud of yourself. Give yourself a metaphorical gold star when you accomplish something. Do not let the fire burn out of your soul.

Never let go of your childlike wonder.  Hold on to what keeps you warm, fuzzy and hopeful inside.

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The 30-something shift

This is EXACTLY what my life feels like. Kudos to her for writing about the angst, questions and change so eloquently.

Me and the Girl from Clapham

“What’ll we do with ourselves this afternoon?” cried Daisy,
“and the day after that, and the next thirty years?”

The Great Gatsby, F Scott Fitzgerald

Start running. Start dancing. Start studying to train as a medic. Start a church. Apply for a transfer to New York. Transfer to London from Minneapolis. Move to Abu Dhabi. Move to Thailand. Move to Moldova. Move to South Sudan. Quit your job without having a new job to go to…

All of these things have all happened to me and my friends in the past couple of years. And we’ve all either turned or are about to turn thirty.

When we were teenagers we were all told we’d have several careers in our lifetimes. The days of one-job for life were long gone, and the time where you’d only do one thing in your life were numbered when we were 16. Now they are definitely…

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forget the roses….

In today’s fast- paced world we are all so enamored of overnight success. It’s easy to get frustrated and feel like everyone is passing you by – especially in your 20s. When you stop and check what you have accomplished it can be a powerful push to keep moving on!

 “Imagine when you are laying a brick wall. Every brick feels like nothing. But at the end of the day you have 3 or 4 levels. At the end of the week it is incredible what you have done. Brick by brick. No one brick is earth-shattering…but it’s amazing what you have accomplished when you take a step back and look at it. We need more patience in our world today. We need patience for great ideas. When you have an overwhelming task or something that seems like it is not going anywhere…just break it down. In my day today — I will do x, y and z. It’s okay to be a turtle and walk slowly.”

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just the way you are

No, not the Bruno Mars song but another on-point Thought Catalog article.

The goal here should be about becoming comfortable in your own skin. The people I look up to the most aren’t the ones with a great spice rack and decorating scheme (those people are often more psycho than those who still sleep on a mattress on the floor) but the ones who have a sort of “effortlessness” to their personality and life. They feel lived in, comfortable with where they’re at. I love that. I want that and I know that one day I will have it. One day I will trust myself and love myself and not be ruled by so much anxiety and fear. I know I will because I see myself already changing and moving toward that.

It’s just about getting to a place of calm, of not constantly measuring yourself against others because I guarantee that if you do that, you’re always going to fall short.

subtractions that add value

If there’s anything I’ve learned, it’s that small things add up to bigger things really easily.  It works both ways – not only can little details turn out to be remarkable blessings; but little mistakes can also easily add up to bigger hassles.

So I figured I need to do an all around detoxification of sorts.  Not a tragic change since that can overwhelm me, but step by step methods that will help weed out the unnecessary and make way for much needed growth.

Step One

“If it wasn’t for money we’d all be rich” – did my accounting today and also unsubscribed from all my travel deal, groupon, living social etc emails.  Anything that would entice me to  unnecessarily spend.

Step Two

I’m limiting eating out as much as I can.  Aiming to do a 30 day no eating out challenge, but easing myself into it.

Will keep adding as I progress. So far so good.  It’s a lot of determination at this point.

the freedom to be you

I came across this article this morning and wow….it feels like an answer to a lot of questions.  Call it a life crisis if you will, but we all go through a phase of figuring out how to identify ourselves beyond the mud of expectations, reputation and stereotypes.  It certainly gets painful, overwhelming and mind-numbing;  but if we’re able to break free from that mold there’s so much freedom of expression and sincere happiness to be discovered.

Read through this article and you’ll know what I mean…

Updates from the inside out

This was written 2 weeks ago but I’m only posting it here now.  I guess in a way I’ve been avoiding processing my thoughts.  Detaching from trying to fit that mold of a “structured” life.  Detaching from worrying about what my mold should be.  Overall, detaching.

Anyway, since I haven’t posted in so long and since I really need to do some thought detoxing, I hope you don’t mind the scatter-brained emo dump below:

  • I know it’s been stated too many times, but facebook really is a facade.  It’s become so popular because it’s an avenue for people to get attention from a constant audience.  I’ve been assessing my approach to it too and I realized I’ve been happier when I don’t refresh my newsfeed so much.  In a way, I feel better not knowing what I’m missing out on or what I could be doing. Here’s a really good article with the same idea: http://matadornetwork.com/life/why-i-quit-facebook/
  • Never ever undersell your worth.  Even if you may have doubts, owning up to your potential proves you’re already worth it.  Keep your grace under pressure and you’ll be rewarded.  I’ve learned this the hard way, trust me.
  • Change is one of those inevitable things we love and hate.  It can be tough to bear, tougher to accept, but it always yields some sort of growth with it.  I’m at another threshold now.  It’s cumbersome to figure out which is a better option, or to specify which one I’m more prepared for, and even worse – I have to pick my path really soon. Aaahhhh!!!
  • As much as society thinks we’re race tolerant, the disparity is still very evident in so many ways.  Try not to be too naive and think that people have accepted you the way you are.  Be on guard, lest ye be judged. I’ve learned this the hard way too.
  • Never ever underestimate God’s presence in your life.

Ok that’s a lot for now. Will post some more later.

the damn glass ceiling

Yesiree, I’m determined to break it and let it shatter to pieces, no matter what it takes.  I’m enjoying the challenge and learning curve, but I do feel like everyday is a different test of breaking that glass ceiling.  I’m young, I’m brown and I’m a female in a predominantly white, very male and age-authority driven field.  It’s a test of wit, perseverance and grace under pressure; but I’m learning to work around it.  Besides, it’s all about perception management, right?  Confidence in the midst of ambiguity; that’s the trick of the trade.

At least that’s what I keep telling myself.  Today felt like one of those mentally draining days of “wtf did I get myself into” but I’m kicking my ass to stay motivated.

Any other suggestions that could help say “watch out for breaking glass, suckas” (corny I know, but still..) would be greatly appreciated =)

Cheers to us!

You’re the best!

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stop sabotaging your own success

I know I usually start the articles I post with “wow, this is a great article” that it’s probably I little too cliche by now. Well, all of them were sincere and every article struck a different chord. This one, however, is a big WOW. If I’ve talked to you at least once in the past year, we’ve probably talked about hitting the crossroads in life and figuring out our answers to defining our own successes. That great big question of “what’s next” really is daunting, isn’t it?

If there’s anything I’ve learned (for myself and through conversations with close friends), it’s that success is the growth that comes out of positive changes. Sure it can be affected by dream jobs, salaries, extensive resumes, raising families, getting married, owning luxury items, buying houses etc but if we don’t have those stories to tell, it doesn’t mean we’re any less successful. Or less privileged or even disadvantaged. Or even that we’ve failed. Not at all!!!

For most of my life, I thought of failure as a horrible thing. As I’ve grown up, I realized that as long as we learn from it, failure is a perfectly good thing. In fact, we only fail when we stop trying. Or when we say things like “what can I do, that’s how life is.” Or when we let our past dictate our future. Or when we let our previous mistakes control our lives. I appreciate the mistakes I made (though they were painful to accept) not only because they’ve taught me how fragile my life is, but because I’ve been blessed through it all.

Our life stories are very different, our goals in life are very different; our personalities are very different. We are all successful in so many ways; we define our achievements in so many ways. And as this article suggests “Believe in yourself, negotiate for yourself, believe in your own success.” We are our own success.

Read the link and let me know what you think 🙂 http://whenihavetime.com/2012/02/16/stop-sabotaging-your-own-success-a-manifesto/